If I put my brand on Roblox, will my neighbour’s son think I’m cool?

Ah, Roblox, the virtual playground where your wildest dreams can come true, assuming your dreams are limited to building neon-colored obelisks and running around in circles as a blocky avatar. If you're a marketer who's been wondering "Hmm, if I slap my brand all over Roblox, will my neighbor's son think I'm cool?", I have some news for you.

No. No, he won't.

But don't fret, dear marketer. It's not you, it's him. You see, unless your brand is a mix of 'Fortnite', 'Minecraft', and 'The latest meme generator', you're not even on his coolness radar.

Now don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying Roblox is the marketing equivalent of a tumbleweed-strewn wasteland. Far from it. If you're selling pixelated soda cans or virtual sneakers with flames bursting out the sides, you're probably in marketing Nirvana.

But let's dissect this for a moment, shall we?

Firstly, the audacity to think that hanging your brand on the virtual coat rack of Roblox will impress the youth is a level of delusion I haven't seen since I convinced myself my high school band would be the next Rolling Stones.

Let me paint a picture for you. Your neighbor's son, let's call him Timmy, is an 11-year-old Roblox maestro. His world is constructed of digitized bricks. Your brand? A mundane reality he'd rather escape from.

Just imagine approaching Timmy: "Hey Timmy, you know that car insurance company with the talking gecko, they're on Roblox, isn't that cool?"

Watch how fast Timmy's eyes glaze over before he resumes his quest to construct a digital skyscraper with his friends from New Zealand.

Secondly, let's address the elephant in the room: desperation. Nothing screams "I'm desperately out of touch" quite like attempting to infiltrate a kid's virtual utopia with your corporate branding.

Timmy doesn't care about your brand. Timmy cares about amassing the highest score and building the coolest digital fort. And let's be honest, your brand's logo, no matter how colorfully rendered, is just a stumbling block in the pixelated landscape he's trying to conquer.

So, before you plunge headfirst into the kaleidoscopic whirlpool of Roblox, take a moment to ask yourself: "Am I doing this for the right reasons or am I just desperately trying to channel my inner 'cool kid' in a misguided attempt to impress the likes of Timmy?"

And remember, if your answer leans toward the latter, it might be time to step away from the keyboard, take a deep breath, and come up with a marketing strategy that doesn't hinge on the fleeting whims of a pre-teen digital architect.

But if you're truly hell-bent on dazzling Timmy with your brand's presence on Roblox, might I suggest a more direct approach? Get a Roblox account, build the most epic digital fortress ever seen, and then casually drop in conversation: "Oh Timmy, did I mention I built that?"

Now THAT might just clinch you a momentary nod of approval.